Blurg

The days are just hard.  Harder than they should be, I think.  I don't know if its because when we're in that never ending part of summer, waiting for school to begin (and the weather to cool off.  100+ degrees can make anyone an unhappy camper) or if my expectations are just out of whack - but blurg.  We seem to have more rough days than not. 

And I know - really, I have almost nothing to complain about.  My life looks pretty darn good - two healthy kids, a job that lets me work at home - I even have the quintessential dog to complete the picture.  So why are the days so hard?  Maybe its me.  Today in a fit of irritation after a morning where nothing had gone right, I asked Andy why things couldn't just be easier.  And he looked at me and said "I don't know.  I'm just one small boy." 

Indeed.  A reminder from my son that I'm just one small person too.

So maybe I'm just experiencing some growing pains, on my journey of motherhood.  I'm learning that LIFE is hard - even those lives that look so good on the outside - have their fair share of problems.  Some bigger than others, some more unjust than others.  But problems nonetheless.  I guess I'm just reconciling the fact that my perfect little life is far from that.  I'm surprised at how dense I can be.  I mean, its written there, in black and white for me to see.  In this life we will have troubes.  And to continue in my denseness, I like to (attempt to) solve my own problems - forgetting that there is a yoke and burden that is light, while the one I create for myself is anything but.  Ask me how that turns out.

Maybe the answer, on days like today where for no particular reason things are just not going well, is to stop my feeble attempts to control everything.  To actually let go and let God.  To remember that He is the author of my story, He knows the plans He has for me (and for my kids and my husband and my job and and and ...) and that I could do worse than being one small person in His story.