Being mom

Being a mother is so much more - and harder - than I thought it would be.  I'm realizing its more than figuring out how to keep two young children entertained and contained at the grocery store or how to get more vegetables into our diet. 

Being a mother is teaching me about myself and about life, as I now see it through the innocent eyes of my children.  The knowledge that who I am is shaping my children is more than a little intimidating.  So who am I?  I'm learning that life is full of pain.  We all carry some kind of pain around with us, whether its pain we bring from our childhood or pain we feel on behalf of our children.  None of us make it through this life with ease.  We all have emotional baggage, we all experience physical or emotional separation from those we love - or who should love us.   

As a mother, I want to protect my children from pain.  I don't want them to fall off the top of the slide anymore than I want their feelings hurt by friends.  But I must learn to balance this urge with teaching them how to deal with pain and disappointmet.  Finding the balance in this is no easy task. But I have to remember that while in this life, we will have troubles, that we also aren't called to worry about tomorrow.  For a worrywort like me, this isn't easy.  So I try to rest in the promise and take it one day at a time.

This may seem like a depressing subject to spend time mulling over, but its not meant to be negative.  While pain is part of life, I'm also doing my best to embrace all the joy life has to offer.  Like the sheer glee of Elizabeth spotting Dada across the church parking lot yesterday and letting out a happy "Dada!" as she ran to him.